Quick and Dirty


Let me ask you…

LADIES: what would you do if a guy shhhhhh’ed you in bed? He doesn’t hand you a pillow or put his hand over your mouth, he makes that shhh-ing sound. What would you do?

MEN: Would you ever shhh a girl in bed?

They funny part is not only did he do this but he did it so loudly that someone in the living room heard him! Who hushes a girl in bed?! Isn’t it a good thing if she is loud? I mean damn I was loud but I wasn’t screaming bloody murder.

Another thing that happened was one night after we were done he rolls over an says, and I quote, “baby you can cuddle me now.”  I am all about being the big spoon sometimes, seriously I don’t mind but really. Let me paint this picture for you, a 6’6 guy curled up naked in the fetal position and saying “baby you can cuddle me now.” I thought it was a joke and started laughing but apparently he was serious because he rolled over and said fuck you. My response, classic Alex fashion, I just smirked and said you just did and got out of bed to get water.

Needless to say this fling was quick and dirty. Mr. Beard as I just decided to call him, really needs help in the bedroom department. There is no other way to put that, he had no idea what foreplay is I don’t even think that word exist in his vocabulary. He would just roll over and try to put it in! Hold up fucker I doesn’t it doesn’t work like that. I’m not asking for an hour of foreplay but damn get me worked up a little bit first! Once we got started he would be done in less then 10 minutes. Talk about a let down. I guess Mr. Beard can’t rely on mommy and daddy to do handle everything for him hahaha.

Now when we see each other around we smile and catch up but it’s never anything more. To this day I don’t think he knows how awkward and bad he is in bed and I don’t plan on being the one to tell him. Besides that’s the next girls’ problem, I’m already on to the next and even though I’m casually dating I have a thing for someone and that someone happens to be Mr. Beard’s roommate…



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