This fucking date


dat

Guy asks girl out + girl accepts = first date.

Okay, I’ll admit I enjoy watching guys squirm while in my presence…it’s flattering. This guy drove an hour just to take me out to eat = him nice guy. He showed up at my house with a bottle of Malbec, nice touch. I get into his truck while he is rummaging to put music on as he reaches for his CDs, out pops the Space Jam soundtrack. Clearly he was embarrassed, “It’s my brothers” I laughed it off while dying on the inside.  While enjoying a quiet awkward car ride I noticed we were heading into the city to eat, yay. We had to park in a parking deck and this guy probably did one of the most embarrassing things ever. He smashed his truck into the concrete wall while trying to park. It sounded like a car crash. I felt so bad that I jumped out to look and he got out of the truck and just walked away. I met him at the elevator and he was so upset. I threw him a “nice bone” (I rarely give those out). I said lets go drink some Saki!!

Big mistake. Well…I stared at my cup and drank saki all night while he talked about himself and play with his hands. After dinner I was buzzed (thanks for the free buzz) and I told him I have an early morning, so he took me home. He walked me up to my door high school style and out of no where he attacked me face. What the fuck. Like bit my lip, drooled on my chin, and sucked my face off. I pulled away and told him I’d text him later.

I did no such thing.

Why do some guys suck at kissing? I KNOW guys have watched at least one movie like the notebook where the guy gently kisses the girl to sweep her off her feet. Guys, its all in the FIRST kiss and when your granted access…sexual chemistry.

Shitty date.

blakley

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One thought on “This fucking date

  1. Poor guy, trying to do all the “right” things on a first date. But what sucks (pun also intended) about the first kiss on the first date is it’s SOOO expected. It’s like, the guy’s reward for taking you out to dinner and spending money on you, now he has physical access to you. Just so forced and it’s so much better to get to know the person before that “expected” first date kiss. I don’t know how old this guy is, but sounds like he doesn’t have too much dating experience, or girls that never taught him how to kiss.

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