Between A Rock And A….Dick


God it is almost comical how fast things change. Two months ago I’m a hot mess over a guy (Mr. Whitewater) who I thought was amazingly perfect for me only to find out he was a jackass who didn’t care how bad he hurt me. Now I’m over it for the most part, don’t get me wrong from time to time I still think about him and want to talk to him but I now see his true colors and I understand that he isn’t the guy I thought he was. And now we arrive at my newest boy problem…

When Mr. Whitewater and I broke up he said stay away from my friends. I did but its not my fault that we see them out and they invite us to do things and they come to the things we invite them too. No one is forcing his friends to hang out with me and my friends. Actually they have told me more then once they like hanging out with me more now that I’m not with him. One night a couple weeks ago we are at a house party with some of his friends from work and I’m sitting there talking to one of the guy, no big deal. Nothing happens I pass out a couple hours later. Every day since then I have talked to him. And not only talked to him but we have hung out and hooked up. At first I thought it was just a casual thing but I’m starting to think its more than that now.

Now we arrive at problem number two… I am currently let one of Mr. Whitewaters friends/co workers crash in my second bedroom. He told me he was staying in his car I couldn’t not offer him my spare room isn’t not like I use it. The guy is a great room mate seriously he is so much fun to have around and chill. We flirt and goof around but nothing has happened. I can tell he wants it to though. I’m going to have to have that talk with him about us just being room mates which is going to suck because I don’t want to hurt his feelings.

So incase you are completely lost two guys that work with and are kind of friends with my ex are trying to get at me and I don’t know what to do!? One of them I’m kinda in to and one of them I just want as a really sweet room mate but both of them know my ex. And on top of all of that my ex is going around work and telling people things about me like that I’m hooking up with random ass people and shit. Why would Mr. White water even care what I am doing? he broke up with me, he told me I wasn’t worth it so why does he feel the need to go around running his mouth about me?

UGHHH I really don’t know how I managed to get myself into this situation and I feel like a horrible person for it 😦


Double Jack and Diets


So after an epic Saturday night with great friends there is nothing better than a good sunday funday. Our Sunday Funday started out innocently enough brunch and a couple bloody marys some how turned into double jack and diets. Now there are a couple reason I don’t normally drink whiskey; 1. I get emotional 2. I get super hammered. Both of these things happened this sunday.

After a couple jacks I felt the need to call my ex and pour out my feelings. Mine you we had probably one of the worst break ups of my life. We dated for the better part of 3 years, broke up for a year and this past year tried it again but I just couldn’t ever get my shit together to make it work. We are in two different parts of our lives. The only problem is I’m still and always will be head over heels in love with them. Sober I would never admit this but sunday I did. I sat outside the bar crying and telling them I loved them and missed them…. classy I know. Thankfully I have a good friend who decided it was time to take my phone away. Thank god for sunglasses I put them back on and went back to my friends like nothing had happened.

When I get back to the table though guess who is sitting there…. Mr. Bad News from months ago!! I haven’t seen him since Halloween night when I was dressed like Tom Cruise from Risky Business and we fucked all over his house. I’m talking crazy drunk sex all over his house. So crazy I managed to lose my silver Michael Kors watch somewhere. For moths I have been asking for it back and he never had time to meet me with it. Of course he doesn’t have time to see me after I tell him I ‘m not going to hook up with him anymore…. Typical guy. And to add insult to injury one of my friends (the one who slept with Mr. Off Limits’s room mate saturday night) and Mr. Bad News use to have a pretty serious thing about a year ago and she to this day doesn’t know him and I hooked up this fall. Yep I’m a horrible friend I know! In my defense thats why I called it off after Halloween because he didn’t tell her.

Ok so if you are completely confused I’m sorry let me try to recap… I’m hammered off whiskey with a group of friends, I’ve poured my heart out to my ex and now an ex fling is sitting at our table with his ex girlfriend/best friend who knows nothing about our said fling…

I go give him a hug and say hi and he hugs me back and hands me my watch! I go back to my side of the table and sit down and I’m sitting diagonal from him. I look up a couple times and he winks at me not once but several times, WTF. Even my friend to my right saw him do it. Dude your girl and my friend are sitting next to you!! I ignore him and then I check my phone because Mr. Off Limits is coming to pick me up and I had a text from Mr. Bad News had texted me saying he was jealous of the guy picking me up! Now I’m seriously fucking confused! Mr. Bad news hasn’t talked to me in months and the first time I see him he pulls this shit! Thankfully Mr. Off Limits showed up a few mins later to take my hammered ass home. And thats pretty much my last full memory sunday the next thing I know its 7am and I’m waking up in Mr. Off Limits bed (fully dressed). Talk about one hell of a Sunday Funday

I guess I should come up with a new name for him now because he isn’t so Off Limits anymore.

I’ll meet you in the middle

It was a weekend for the books to say the least. My liver pretty much hates actually I’m sure it has just decided to quit on me. But on a better note Mr. Off Limits is so off limits any more!

Saturday was spent drinking and dancing the night away for Blakley’s birthday. By 2:30 me and another friend we in a cab heading back to my apartment. Some how we ended up in Mr. Off Limits apartment instead of mine, go figure.

I can’t even begin to tell you what we all talked about but his room mate watched him and I go into his room together and its not like it matter much because he was in the process of taking my friend into his room. Yep thats right she had sex with someone she knew I slept with this summer. I’m not even mad about it because thanks to her now he knows that Mr. (not so) Off Limits and I have a thing. Sex from what I remember was amazing like always.

The next morning I wake up and check my phone and see like 5 messages from my friend in the other room saying she needed to go, my only response was “I’ll meet you in the middle”. I got up and searched for my clothes yes I had to search they were everywhere and then went to sit on the couch to wait for her to come out of the other room. We got a good laugh out this.

The best part of the morning though was when we were getting in the car to get brunch, this girl and guy walk out of the building and past our car. She was wearing his shirt, his shorts and had her leopard print heels on from the night before. And they didn’t get in a car they were walking towards the light rail! Hahahaha talk about the best walk of shame outfit everrrr! It would have been better if she would have worn her outfit from last night or just borrowed  flip flops from him. Regardless  if was the best way to start off one hell of a Sunday Funday.



IT’S MY BEST FRIENDS BIRTHDAYYYYYY. I can’t wait to see what the weekend holds for us! Happy Birthday Blakley I love you cupcake 🙂 I’m so glad we are best friends!

What a Girl’s Outfit at the Bar Says About Her

What a Girl’s Outfit at the Bar Says About Her.

by Ariana Basseri on February 20, 2014


This is the definition of judging a book by its cover, so hear me out.

I’ve worn all these ensembles and had the correlating personas to back it up. As a girl, you can be the babe looking like you belongs at “da club” on Friday and be dressed like a kindergarten teacher Saturday. It all goes back to when you were rifling through your closet earlier that night.

Here is a guide to help you read how she’s feeling- all based on what she left her pregame wearing.

Skin-Tight American Apparel


What It Means: I’m a confident badass. I’ve worked my ass off at the gym and resisted Chipotle for the last forty-eight hours. I’m going to be a lightweight tonight because I ate a piece of toast for dinner six hours ago. You can see when I inhale and I have nothing to hide. If I’m wearing underwear, it’s hiked up to my waist and I literally look like a silhouette of my naked self. You have a good chance to later discover my stick-on bra if I don’t leave the bar early to eat some street meat.

Cultural reference: 2007 Paris Hilton

Flowy top over jeans with major cleavage


What It Means:  I have my period. I’d like to distract from the 5 pounds of water weight being distributed randomly on my body by showing major chest action. I’m overcompensating with heavy makeup and my highest heels. I probably cried earlier that day about an incorrect sandwich order, so please be sensitive. You won’t completely score with me tonight, but you’ll get me at my best breasts.

Cultural reference: Mindy Lahiri from The Mindy Project

Hipster – Dark


What It Means:  I’m bored and DGAF chic. I’m wearing a floppy hat, thick-rimmed glasses and caplet thing. My hair may also be in a high bun. I think I’m too good for this shit. I’m going to talk authors, gallery openings and the most expensive fair-trade coffee I’ve ever had to scare you off. I will completely lose interest in you unless you pull up a seat and offer me your American Spirits. Negative points for Camel Crushes, who do you think I am?

Cultural reference: Daria (Daria. Obvi.)

Hipster- Light


What It Means: I’m high. I’m wearing a loose ethereal flowing dress with sandals. I’d love to talk about the energy of this place and drink your beer without permission. I will say yes to join you on the d-floor and tell you 100% more than you ever wanted to know about your zodiac sign. I’d love to leave this place to go meet your bong named Klaus.

Cultural reference: Jessa from Girls

Daytime Outfit

What It Means:  I was pressured into this. I have no fucks to give. My shirt is some cotton blend and I’ve been wearing it since breakfast. My friends forced me to leave my apartment and I have a cab waiting for me outside. I can be swayed to have a good time but my un-styled ponytail and faded makeup is cramping my confidence. I won’t believe your compliments so don’t try. Actually, just don’t try at all.

Cultural reference: Lindsay Lohan

Future Politician’s Wife


What It Means:  I’m secret sexy. I’m all done up and my hair is perfectly quaffed. Don’t take my high neckline and pearls as a deterrent. You think I’m going to be no fun, and you are so wrong. Even drunk I keep total composure through the night and never skip a beat when whipping out that sorority pose for pictures. I’ll take you up on your drink offer and will eventually unleash my wild side if you are worthy. I’m your librarian/secretary fantasy realized.

Cultural reference: Claire Underwood (House of Cards)

Basic Bitch


What It Means:  It’s not a bad thing. I>’m on point with the rest of the female population in here. My outfit can be summed up as “cute!!” I’m wearing jeans or a bandage skirt, party top and heels. So are all my friends. This is an average night out and I can see it going anywhere. After all, I can easily pull this outfit off tomorrow morning at Starbucks with little judgment from thebaristas.

Cultural reference: Anyone ever cast as “hot club girl.”

Top pic via The Chive


Dating Stories

So lately you have been reading about our dates the good, the bad and the sexual, now we want to hear about some of yours! Go to our Between The Sheets page and send us your best or worst dating stories! We will then take all of your stories and post them anonymously so don’t worry no one will ever know it was you that it happened to 🙂 This is open to anyone it can be your story a friends story we just want to hear about some of the crazy things that y’all have gotten yourselves into!

Mr. Bad News part 1


I got invited to a double birthday, nothing big we were just going to grill out and then hit some of the local bars. I wasn’t really in the mood to be going out I had to work in the morning and getting hammered that night just didn’t sound good to me. I go though. I know almost everyone there but there is this one guy with the prettiest baby blue eyes (I am a sucker for blue eyes) who I didn’t know. He was dressed well too, button down shirt, dark wash jeans (that mad his ass look amazing) and nice loafers. He was dressed better then most of the girls at the party. I mean yea we were just going to local bars but who doesn’t want a man that can dress well!  We all go to the bar and this mystery man, who still hasn’t introduced himself, comes up to me and asks if I want a drink. Go figure my answer was yes, little did I know that drink was actually going to be a shot and that shot was going to be tequila. I looked at him laughed and said, “oh hell you are bad news,” and took the shot. we chat for a little while and then go our separate ways.

I ended up making a comment to one of the birthday girls about how hot Mr. Bad News was, she goes yea I know he is my ex. Talk about a screeching halt… or well it should have been. I was sitting at the bar talking to anther friend and he came and sat next to me, we started talking, he was flirting I was defiantly flirting back. He kept reaching over to touch my arm or my knee nothing to serious but just enough to keep me sitting there. I casually mentioned that  I knew him and birthday girl used to be together and  I wasn’t trying to step on anyones toes if they still had a thing for each other. He explained that it ended a couple years ago but that they had stayed friends. I really should have stopped while I was ahead but I didn’t. I ended up leaving early but not before we had made plans for the next night and slipped him my number. He gave me a hug and a quick peck on the cheek, he did just enough that night to keep me interested and little did I know that when I called him Mr. Bad News that night that he would live up to that name in more ways than one! Stayed tuned for Mr. Bad News part 2 I can promise it will be worth it…