Welcome To My Life, It’s A First Class Hot Mess

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My life = a complete mess…

 

Friday night I went out for a going away party with friends of Mr. Whitewater. It was no big deal he wasn’t there and everyone had a goos time. Most of the night I spent with my best friend just sitting at the bar talking to people. For most of the time the one guy has his arm around my shoulder or on my back. I know him and he knows about Mr. Whitewater and everything else so I really didn’t think twice about it. Well later that night that guy starts texting me asking me to come over and blah blah blah I tell him no and let it go he was drunk. That same night we all go to the strip club and yes i am still with Mr. Whitewater’s friends my room mate and my best friend. Some of them had to work in the morning so I told them they could crash at my place bc it was close. We get back to my place and one of the guys gets in my bed… he has a girl friend I know her I like her he literally just got in my bed to sleep NOTHING HAPPENED!

Saturday night I went backpacking with let’s just call him the Teacher. He also is friends with Mr. Whitewater but I’ve been hanging out with him for a couple weeks now. He knows everything that happened between Mr. Whitewater and I. Anyway the Teacher and I go camping just the two of us. It was a great trip we talked we hung out we had text sex lol I have no complaints about how the weekend went. I get back last night and pass out around 630. By the time i wake up around 10 my room mate is home. I knew this was coming but I still wasn’t trying to have the conversation.

Next thing I know my room mate is lecturing me about everything that has happened in the past two weeks. “Alex what is it you want from guys?” “Don’t you realize what you are doing?” “Don’t you realize all these guys are connected?” “Why can’t you just be happy?” “Don’t you see something wrong with this?” Question after question after question… this goes on for almost 20 mins. Then he brings up the Teacher and goes I really don’t like him and you can do so much better than him but the cherry on top was when he said and I quote, “Don’t let him spend the night over here. I don’t care if you want to sleep at his place but I don’t want him here. If you didn’t like the girl I was seeing I wouldn’t bring her around and I expect the same respect.” WHAT THE FUCK?!? I let it go last night because i was tired of having this conversation. Now as I sit at work and think about it I ‘m super heated.

First of all he has no right to tell me who I can bring back to my own place. He has been there for two weeks and he doesn’t even pay rent, clean up or anything. but he thinks he can tell me who I can have spend the night based on the fact that he doesn’t like him. Umm no try again. This guy has had one girlfriend his entire life, he already admitted to not knowing what it is like to be in love or to get hurt. And he sure as hell has no idea what it is like to have someone tell you that you aren’t worth it. I get it I haven’t made some of the best decisions since Mr. Whitewater and I ended but he has no right to judge me. It would be one thing if I was fucking all these guys but I’m not. Honestly after all of this part of my wants to just end any and all relationships with anyone that knows my ex and just walk away from everything. I’m not blaming anyone I put myself in these situations but I definitely don’t need someone in my ear judging me about them.
alex

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What a Girl’s Outfit at the Bar Says About Her

What a Girl’s Outfit at the Bar Says About Her.

by Ariana Basseri on February 20, 2014

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This is the definition of judging a book by its cover, so hear me out.

I’ve worn all these ensembles and had the correlating personas to back it up. As a girl, you can be the babe looking like you belongs at “da club” on Friday and be dressed like a kindergarten teacher Saturday. It all goes back to when you were rifling through your closet earlier that night.

Here is a guide to help you read how she’s feeling- all based on what she left her pregame wearing.

Skin-Tight American Apparel

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What It Means: I’m a confident badass. I’ve worked my ass off at the gym and resisted Chipotle for the last forty-eight hours. I’m going to be a lightweight tonight because I ate a piece of toast for dinner six hours ago. You can see when I inhale and I have nothing to hide. If I’m wearing underwear, it’s hiked up to my waist and I literally look like a silhouette of my naked self. You have a good chance to later discover my stick-on bra if I don’t leave the bar early to eat some street meat.

Cultural reference: 2007 Paris Hilton

Flowy top over jeans with major cleavage

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What It Means:  I have my period. I’d like to distract from the 5 pounds of water weight being distributed randomly on my body by showing major chest action. I’m overcompensating with heavy makeup and my highest heels. I probably cried earlier that day about an incorrect sandwich order, so please be sensitive. You won’t completely score with me tonight, but you’ll get me at my best breasts.

Cultural reference: Mindy Lahiri from The Mindy Project

Hipster – Dark

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What It Means:  I’m bored and DGAF chic. I’m wearing a floppy hat, thick-rimmed glasses and caplet thing. My hair may also be in a high bun. I think I’m too good for this shit. I’m going to talk authors, gallery openings and the most expensive fair-trade coffee I’ve ever had to scare you off. I will completely lose interest in you unless you pull up a seat and offer me your American Spirits. Negative points for Camel Crushes, who do you think I am?

Cultural reference: Daria (Daria. Obvi.)

Hipster- Light

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What It Means: I’m high. I’m wearing a loose ethereal flowing dress with sandals. I’d love to talk about the energy of this place and drink your beer without permission. I will say yes to join you on the d-floor and tell you 100% more than you ever wanted to know about your zodiac sign. I’d love to leave this place to go meet your bong named Klaus.

Cultural reference: Jessa from Girls

Daytime Outfit

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What It Means:  I was pressured into this. I have no fucks to give. My shirt is some cotton blend and I’ve been wearing it since breakfast. My friends forced me to leave my apartment and I have a cab waiting for me outside. I can be swayed to have a good time but my un-styled ponytail and faded makeup is cramping my confidence. I won’t believe your compliments so don’t try. Actually, just don’t try at all.

Cultural reference: Lindsay Lohan

Future Politician’s Wife

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What It Means:  I’m secret sexy. I’m all done up and my hair is perfectly quaffed. Don’t take my high neckline and pearls as a deterrent. You think I’m going to be no fun, and you are so wrong. Even drunk I keep total composure through the night and never skip a beat when whipping out that sorority pose for pictures. I’ll take you up on your drink offer and will eventually unleash my wild side if you are worthy. I’m your librarian/secretary fantasy realized.

Cultural reference: Claire Underwood (House of Cards)

Basic Bitch

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What It Means:  It’s not a bad thing. I>’m on point with the rest of the female population in here. My outfit can be summed up as “cute!!” I’m wearing jeans or a bandage skirt, party top and heels. So are all my friends. This is an average night out and I can see it going anywhere. After all, I can easily pull this outfit off tomorrow morning at Starbucks with little judgment from thebaristas.

Cultural reference: Anyone ever cast as “hot club girl.”

Top pic via The Chive

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Here’s to the past

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Breakups can literally make you or break you. When you think about it you go into a relationship and in the end you are either going to marry that person or you are going to break up. Thats a warm and fuzzy feeling I know. Breakup suck and they are hard and they hurt, trust me I know I just (and still am) going back and forth with my ex. Yes we are done but we still fight and yell like we are together, why I have no idea! But last night we had a particularly mean yelling match (over text we live in different states) and it got me thinking. I could either lay here and continue to cry over the horrible things that were said or I can make the best out of this.

Ladies we have a bad habit of going into a “hole” when we are dumped and you can sit there all you want and say thats not you but you know at least once you’ve done it. You can get online and literally find 100 of article on the steps of healing, getting through a breakup, how to get over him blah blah blah. You can read that all you want but until YOU decide you want to get over and pull yourself out of the bed, shower and look like a real person none of that shit you read is going to matter. I thought about calling into work this morning after last night but what good does it do for me to lay there and keep reading the messages over and over again. This person and I have been dating on and off for 5 years, they know everything about me and they through everything they could in my face last night. It hurt. But this morning I got up I showered did my hair and makeup and came to the office.

The guys only win when they know they have gotten to you. So ladies put on you favorite pair of heels, throw your shoulders back and hold your head. Yes its still going to hurt but if you’re going to hurt at least look hot doing it (just kidding, kinda). If he tells you he still wants to be friends, honestly tell him no. At the end of the day it is just going to make it harder for you to get over him and he will probably still try to sleep with you. Even if the sex is amazing don’t do it, show him what he is missing by not being at his every beck and call.

Don’t let a break up break you, trust me from personally experience I can tell you its not worth it. Call your girls get a couple bottles of wine and have a girls night, it will do wonders for you! So here’s to the past for making us better, smarter, and stronger women then we were yesterday!
alex

Dating Stories

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So lately you have been reading about our dates the good, the bad and the sexual, now we want to hear about some of yours! Go to our Between The Sheets page and send us your best or worst dating stories! We will then take all of your stories and post them anonymously so don’t worry no one will ever know it was you that it happened to 🙂 This is open to anyone it can be your story a friends story we just want to hear about some of the crazy things that y’all have gotten yourselves into!
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This fucking date

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Guy asks girl out + girl accepts = first date.

Okay, I’ll admit I enjoy watching guys squirm while in my presence…it’s flattering. This guy drove an hour just to take me out to eat = him nice guy. He showed up at my house with a bottle of Malbec, nice touch. I get into his truck while he is rummaging to put music on as he reaches for his CDs, out pops the Space Jam soundtrack. Clearly he was embarrassed, “It’s my brothers” I laughed it off while dying on the inside.  While enjoying a quiet awkward car ride I noticed we were heading into the city to eat, yay. We had to park in a parking deck and this guy probably did one of the most embarrassing things ever. He smashed his truck into the concrete wall while trying to park. It sounded like a car crash. I felt so bad that I jumped out to look and he got out of the truck and just walked away. I met him at the elevator and he was so upset. I threw him a “nice bone” (I rarely give those out). I said lets go drink some Saki!!

Big mistake. Well…I stared at my cup and drank saki all night while he talked about himself and play with his hands. After dinner I was buzzed (thanks for the free buzz) and I told him I have an early morning, so he took me home. He walked me up to my door high school style and out of no where he attacked me face. What the fuck. Like bit my lip, drooled on my chin, and sucked my face off. I pulled away and told him I’d text him later.

I did no such thing.

Why do some guys suck at kissing? I KNOW guys have watched at least one movie like the notebook where the guy gently kisses the girl to sweep her off her feet. Guys, its all in the FIRST kiss and when your granted access…sexual chemistry.

Shitty date.

blakley