Its been almost two months since I’ve written anything and trust me its not because things haven’t happened or because I haven’t been dating. Actually I really don’t know why I haven’t said anything maybe because once I write it that means its true or that I’m admitting that I’m a mess. Lets see where should I begin…
Its been months and I’m still not over Mr. Whitewater, even though he has moved on and is dating some girl with a kid. I only know this because people have told me. for whatever reason his friends like to update me with his life. I don’t know what it is about him or why I can’t just let it go but I can’t. He is a complete ass to me and wants nothing to do with me, he basically just pretends I don’t exist. We weren’t even together that long I should not still be upset or bothered by it. I don’t know if it is because it is this time of year or what but I hate how much he still crosses my mind and how much it still upsets me.
I have also been reminded recently that rebound guys suck ass. I guess it didn’t help that my rebound was one of Mr. Whitewater’s friends. I swear i didn’t do that to get back at him it just kind of happened. I ended when I realized he was a selfish two faced ass hole. Why do guys say anything and everything they can to hurt you? Why do they feel the need to bring up things you told them in private? And why is it as soon as it doesn’t work out with a guy do they start telling people that the reason it didn’t work out was because “you” were crazy?
UGH! I’m just so over guys and dating right now. I say that but in retrospect I want someone around, someone I can talk to about my day, someone to spoil… I want someone who makes me want to do better and be better and all that other cheesy bull shit. Yep thats right I, Alex, just admitted to wanting all of that. Mark this day in your calendars because the odds of my admitting this again are slim to none. I’m just going to use this post like my closure, once I hit publish thats it I’m done being sad about all of this. I need to get back to the old me and stop letting guys get to me like this, no guy is worth this many tears!